


Bullet

by NetSlayer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Cuddles, Cutting, Drinking, Fighting, Fluff, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, M/M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Roman is an asshole, Self Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, attempts, bottle of pills, i wrote this at one AM, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NetSlayer/pseuds/NetSlayer
Summary: This story is based off the song "Bullets" by Hollywood Undead, listen to the song and read the lyrics.*READ THE TAGS*Virgil finds himself running to a bridge, he must cross the large park to get to it. As he walks he looks back on his life, how did it get this far? When did his life go to shit?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, anxceitmus - Relationship, demus - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 107





	Bullet

**Author's Note:**

> I have had the song "Bullets" by Hollywood Undead stuck in my head for the past two weeks, I wrote this at 1 am and did not look over it very well for grammar or spelling mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy this trash of a story.

Virgil ran. That’s all he could think of to do. He ran hard and fast, ignoring the world, ignoring the buzzing of his phone, the cars, the yelling, everything. He finally stopped running to catch his breath, and looked to where he was. He was at the corner of a large park, across the park was a very tall bridge, with fast, cold, rushing water. He took another few minutes catching his breath and crossed the street walking into the dark park. 

It was late, maybe around midnight or one a.m., he didn’t care; all he knew was that nobody should be there to stop him. He then opened up his phone and played some MCR and recounted the events of his life that led up to this moment.

Where to start? When did his life start to go to shit? Probably when he started dating Roman. Now Roman was a piece of shit, but what actually happened was that Roman was the twin brother to his best friend Remus. Virgil didn’t even know Remus had a twin brother, he was just hanging out with Remus and Janus (his other best friend) at Remus’s house and suddenly Roman and his friends came in and butt into their conversation. 

Roman was very charismatic, but also very loud; louder than Remus. Roman was also very flirty and whenever Virgil went over to hangout with Remus, Roman would flirt with him nonstop. Virgil wasn’t that interested, mostly because he thought it was weird idea to date his best friends twin brother. That is until Janus and Remus “pushed” him into an actual date with Roman. 

And it went well surprisingly. Soon after that Remus and Janus ended up dating, but they still hung out a lot together. Then Roman started making Virgil hangout with his friends, Patton and Logan, more often than with his brother and Janus. So Virgil let him, they would have movie nights and game nights, but whenever Virgil mentioned having Remus or Janus join they shot him down immediately. 

A few weeks later he started to fight with Janus and Remus, it started off with small petty arguments but escalated quickly. Remus accused Virgil of not wanting to hang out anymore and thinking he was now better than them by being with Roman. How Virgil preferred the “better” twin. Virgil tried to explain that he wants to start hanging out more with them, it’s just that Roman and his friends are taking up all his time.

Janus then intervene saying he had the solution to all their problems.

“Break up with him then.” Janus said smoothly, stepping in between Remus and Virgil.

“What?” Virgil asked. “You want me to break up with my boyfriend?” Janus smiled softly and nodded, Remus was now calm enough to also agree.

“Yes, break up with him and join us.” Janus smiled sweetly, taking Virgil’s hand. Before he could speak Remus put in his two cents.

“Yeah! Break up with my brother! Ditch his friends and be apart of our relationship! We’ll have so much fun! Date nights will be amazing! Also bedroom time-”

“Guys wait, stop.” Virgil pulled his hand away from Janus and took a step back. He needed a moment to think about this. This was all coming out of nowhere, they want him to break up with his boyfriend, that they helped get him together with, then all of a sudden they want him to join their relationship, and since when were they poly? Before he could speak out any of his thoughts, Remus and Janus seemed to have gotten the wrong idea from his silence.

“Well if you’re so disgusted with the idea of being with us, then get out.” Shortly after he was ushered out of the apartment and told to never come back. He went crying to Roman and found his new favorite hobby, drinking. 

Soon the bottom of the bottle became his best friend, and normally Roman always drank with him. Until he _accidently_ showed Roman his wrists, that when they had their first big fight. Roman was upset about not knowing, about how apparently Virgil lied to him about his mental health. Even though, in all fairness he hasn’t cut in years, not since Janus and Remus became his best friends.

Ex- best friends now.

That didn’t matter at the moment, Virgil was arguing with Roman on how he didn’t cut himself anymore, Roman explained he didn’t want to be _responsible_ for any bad mental health Virgil might have. Or how he didn’t want to _babysit_ Virgil if he had another bad episode, or a bad depression day. It was a nasty fight.

They made up, but shortly after that Virgil made sure to drink alone. 

A month after that, he got terribly ill and had Roman pick up a bunch of different medicines for him. He was very grateful to have such a loving and caring boyfriend. Even if he couldn't be with Virgil most of time he was sick because “I don’t also want to get sick, just text me when you're better.”. It was fine. But not having someone with you, to watch how much medicine your ingesting is dangerous, especially if you just want to go to sleep forever and forget the pain.

He doesn’t remember swallowing a whole bottle of pills, or waking up in the hospital with an angry Roman. Roman was angry that Virgil had apparently tried to deliberately kill himself because Roman couldn’t be there every waking second for him. Virgil rebutted that he just accidentally overdosed on pain medication while being sick and left unattended.

“Oh so it’s my fault you “accidently” overdosed!” Roman yelled, Virgil tried to sit up in the hospital bed.

“No! It’s not your fault! I was sick and wasn’t paying attention! Jesus Roman I’m not suicidal!” Virgil tried to reason with him, but it wasn’t working well.

“Could have fooled me.” Roman then left him alone in the hospital, the only solace he had was the random flowers that were in his room, daffodils. He was released a few days later, with the suicide hotline numbers, and a therapists number. Roman had texted him saying he was sorry and that he wanted to make it up to Virgil over a nice dinner at his house. 

Virgil smiled softly and accepted, by the next week he got himself a nice suit and dressed up for the occasion. It had been forever since they had a proper date, on the night of the date he decided to head up to Roman’s house early. Letting himself in, he stopped dead in his tracks to see Roman kissing Patton on the couch. Patton noticed him first.

“V-Virgil!” Roman turned around to face Virgil immediately getting up.

“I can explain, you see-” Virgil shook his head.

“Fuck off Princey.” And with that Virgil turned around and went home and blocked Roman’s number. For the next three weeks he’s drunk himself stupid, and gave himself a few new scars, on his wrists, on his legs. He felt numb and wanted it to stop. He tried more pills, didn’t work, so he tried to buy a gun and some bullets. Yet, with his mental health record, no one would sell to him. He didn’t want to hang himself, and he didn’t want a lot of blood, so the next best thing was to jump. 

One night he found the suit he bought for the ‘special’ dinner date and put it on. Hey, if you want to meet god, you better look nice. 

Then he ran, and he was running again. Virgil didn’t know when he began to run but he did and now he was at the bridge. He still had his music playing from his phone so he just set it down on the ground. The world was quiet except for the rushing water beneath him and the light sounds of the music. Catching his breath he looked up to the sky, the stars were beautiful. He nodded his head, trying to hold back tears as he climbed the rail. He looked forward and saw where the river bends, farther out was green lush tress, behind that was house of a nice neighbor hood. Virgil laugh bitterly and looked back up to the stars, and began to lean forward.

~~~~~~~

Looking back on it, Janus regrets throwing Virgil out of his and Remus’s shared apartment. Virgil was probably just overwhelmed with the idea and panicked. When both Remus and Janus tried to reach out to him Roman would always interfere, saying something along the lines of “you hurt him enough,” and “leave before I call the cops”. He was always such a killjoy.

Remus was upset about it but figure Virgil just needed some time alone, _of course_ this didn’t mean Roman wouldn’t call constantly complaining about Virgil. About how much Virgil cries, or how he has _so_ many panic attacks, and somehow he found out about Virgil’s _scars_. They had a big fight about it but it was fine now. Remus had to physically bite his fist when talking to his brother about Virgil. Of course Roman wouldn’t know anything about Virgil, he didn’t care about Virgil. But Virgil was currently blocking them, so this was the only way to see how Virgil was doing. 

When they found out he was sick, or even in the hospital Remus was livid, telling Roman off for not even staying with Virgil in his time of need. Janus just listened in on the fighting about how Roman didn’t need to be there every day of Virgil’s life, or to babysit him. That fight ended badly, still they were able to visit while Virgil was still asleep to leave flowers for him.

Daffodils were his favorite. 

They decided to wait a week or two to see if Virgil was ok, it wasn’t until Roman called Remus unexpectedly in the middle of the day.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hey Roman what’s up.” Remus left the phone on speaker so that Janus could hear.

“Is Virgil with you?” Janus felt cold and could feel Remus tense up.

“No, why? What happened?” Remus goated Roman into talking, he was always the dramatic twin.

“He caught me making out with Patton and ran out, now he won’t talk to me.” Remus promptly hung up the phone on his brother and tried to call Virgil. Janus also tried to call, then they tried to email or get contacted with him through social media. Nothing worked.

After a few weeks of ignoring Roman and trying to get in contact with Virgil, they decided to go to his place. He wasn’t there, or at least he didn’t answer them. They left letters in his box, they were never received. It was like he disappeared, until one night they decided to just wander the park they used to love hanging out at. It was getting super late, Remus checked the time, nearly one thirty in the morning, and decided to walk back, arm in arm.

It wasn’t until they saw a very familiar emo run past in the shadows, wearing a nice suit and had headphones on. Remus began to run after him, pulling Janus with him. They followed him all the way to the edge of the park where a tall bridge was with rushing water. They stopped for a second to catch their breath but watched as they recognized it was their emo, Virgil. As they caught their breath they saw him place his phone on the ground, MCR was playing from it, but they could barely hear it. 

Then Virgil looked up and smiled, he then climbed the rail and Remus ran towards him. Janus was close behind him as he saw Virgil look out, then up and then began to lean forward.

Janus had never been more thankful that Remus was a fast runner and was very tolerable to pain. He was able to grab Virgil and barrel roll him away from the rail, taking most of the damage himself. Virgil yelled in complaint and struggled against Remus, Janus just ran over and hugged their struggling friend. Once Virgil calmed down he noticed how exhausted he looked, tears began to fall how his cheeks. The icy wind whipped at him but he ignored it, looking back at Remus who still had a strong hold on him was also crying.

“Virgil.” Janus whispered, placing his hands on Virgil cheeks to make him look at him. 

“Janus?” Virgil questioned, he then turned slightly to see Remus hugging his back for dear life. “Remus? What are you guys doing here?” Remus gave a dry laugh and pressed his face harder into Virgil’s back.

“What are we doing? What were you thinking?” Remus whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the wind. Virgil opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to answer but finding he couldn’t. Instead he sobbed and let hot tears rolls down his cheeks.

“Oh, Virgil.” Janus shushed Virgil’s sobs and began to wipe away his tears. “We’re here, we’re right here darling.” Virgil cried harder and Remus and Janus took him home with them, where after a good warm meal, a bath, and comfy clothes Virgil was ready to talk.

So he did, he told them everything that has happened since their last encounter. How Roman treated him, how much he’s been drinking, how he began to cut again, and tried to buy a gun to end it all. When nothing worked he decided to dress up for death and to jump. 

They were all crying by the end of it. Remus demanded that it was a movie and snuggle type of night, despite Virgil trying to leave, they wouldn’t allow it.

“No, you’re not leaving. You are staying and joining the cuddle and movie.” Remus remained adamant on his decision, then when Janus agreed with him Virgil knew he was screwed. He joined and it almost felt like things were back to normal, before Roman. 

Except they still acted lovey dovey in their own special way that was very Remus and Janus. Virgil tried to ignore it but it dug a hole in his heart, he knew he shouldn’t want what they have. They offered once and he fucked that up, he wasn’t about to fuck up their re-budding friendship. They must have sensed his internalized distress they paused the movie and turned towards him.

This made Virgil realize he was sandwiched between Remus and Janus.

“Virgil,” Janus started carefully. “I know our last encounter was a bit-” He tried to find the right word but was failing, so Remus picked it back up.

“Awkward, tense, emotional, and downright horrible.” Janus grimaced at Remus’s wording but nodded along.

“Yes, well we would like to know that if you would consider-”

“Being part of our relationship?” Remus finished for Janus, Virgil tensed, last time he didn’t answer he was kicked out. Janus immediately picked up on the hesitation and panic.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer now. We realized it might have been overwhelming for you last time and we reacted harshly.” Virgil bit his lip as Janus and Remus snuggled closer to him, Remus actually put an arm around him.

“We don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Virgey, whenever you’re ready.” Remus said shifted back to continue the movie. Virgil relaxed himself and let himself be swarmed in warmth and comfort.

When Virgil woke up, the first thing he noticed was the smell of pancakes, bacon, and coffee. He slowly sat up and realized that he was still on the couch. He turned around to see Remus and Janus dancing in the kitchen and making jokes, Virgil felt bad for looking in on their moments. Then Remus saw him and bounced over to him, pulling him up from the couch and into the kitchen where they all danced together. For the first time in weeks, Virgil laughed and felt free. 

Once they finished dancing, they all got some breakfast and had some joyful banter back and forth. When they finished they just settled down at the table drinking coffee and talking, no pressure of conversation or anything. Virgil felt he made his decision. 

“Hey guys?” Remus and Janus turned towards him and smiled gently.

“Yes Virgil?” Janus asked, his eyes were warm, and Remus looked hopeful.

“If the offer still stands, I would like to join your relationship.” Virgil barley got to finished before Remus launched himself over the table to kiss Virgil. When they parted Janus walked up to him, and kissed him while crying. They all laughed and began sharing soft kisses between each other and claimed it to be a cuddle day.


End file.
